Over the last few months, I’ve been contemplating whether or not I’m a good friend. I look around and see that people are with their best friends every day and if they aren’t physically together, they are texting and calling. I don’t have that relationship with my friends.
I have people that I consider myself extremely close to. They know my deepest, darkest secrets and have seen me at my worst but sometimes we can go months without seeing or speaking to each other. At one point, it really bothered me and I felt like I was alone or a bad friend. I would see them getting close to other people and feel like I was being replaced. But then it hit me.
The way my friendships work, aren’t like everyone else’s and that’s okay. Anytime I reconnect with my friends, it’s like that much time hasn’t passed. Of course we catch up on all the mess of each others’ lives but the energy and love is always the same.
One of my best friends texted me the other day apologizing for being distant. This girl has a whole job, is completing her masters and running a dance team. Sis, you don’t have time for the chit chat. I found myself telling her that this is just how adult friendships work. We both have a lot on our plates and huge responsibilities. What we’ve built is standing on a strong foundation and no amount of time passed is going to make me change the way I feel about her. ‘
Being a bridesmaid in another friend’s wedding is also an instance that made me reevaluate how I saw myself as a friend. When this person asked me to be in her wedding, I immediately thought, “Why me?” Why would this girl want me beside her on arguably one of the most important days of her life? She and I were close in college because we essentially started an organization together. But I graduated a year ahead of her and she was able to join her dream organization in her last semester. I just knew that my place in her life was shifting. It wasn’t until her bridal shower that I realized my views were off. I was talking to her mom and sister and her mom was just telling me how highly my friend speaks of me. I was on the verge of tears. I didn’t think I was that important to her and my place in the bridal party was a fluke but it all made sense in that moment.
Two of my closest friends from high school are now pregnant. When I found out the same time everyone else did, I was butt hurt. I felt like I lost them and my place in their lives. How silly and immature of me. It dawned on me that although I may not have deserved to know they were with child as soon as the test said positive, they still want me to share this journey with them. The conditions of our relationships may have changed but I know they are always rooting and supporting and I will always do the same for them.
All of this really boils down to the fact that my friends and I are growing up. Yes, we all lose friends as we go through our journeys but that only means those relationships weren’t meant to last. Those were time period friendships. Real relationships will stand the test of time. So to all my homies out there, this one’s for you. My love for you all is unconditional and you know I’m always just a call, text, tweet or DM away.
The Nomadic Blogger is The Blog About Nothing. Created on the idea of networking and promotion through sisterhood, The Nomadic Blogger makes her home on the platforms of other established bloggers. Through guest blogging, The Nomadic Blogger hopes to spread her world views and messages while bringing attention to her #SisterBloggers. Follow #TheNomadicBlogger’s journey on Facebook and Instagram.