My First born child will soon be celebrating his 7th birthday and I really cant believe its been that long since Ive had him. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with him. Man I was scared, I couldn’t believe I had actually gone and gotten myself pregnant. See Im a pastors kid and that was a big NO NO! All I could think was I got to get an abortion fast before my parents find out. All I could think of was the shame I would bring on my family. All I could think was “girl what did you get yourself into”.

When I found out I was pregnant I told my boyfriend (my now husband, Robert) that I wasn’t keeping it. He tried his best to change my mind but I wasn’t budging. I didn’t care what he had to say honestly because all I could think was how embarrassing for me to get pregnant and my dad is a pastor, how I wasn’t married and this wasn’t right (not like getting an abortion is any better) or even how I probably wasn’t even ready to have a child and be a mom. I remember his friend trying to convince me and I just didn’t care what anyone had to say because this was my life. But one night I just wasn’t feeling well and Robert insisted that we go to the hospital. When it comes to hospitals and extra bills I cant afford its a no brainer I’m not going but he insisted. So I agreed and had him take me.

OMG it was crazy that day was the first time I ever saw my child. That day was the moment I knew my life had changed. In that moment what was inside of me became real and it was no way I was aborting my child. I stared at that picture with joy but still very scared how my family would react. Mind you I wasn’t far along at all you could barely make out any body parts at the time but even still I knew I couldn’t go through with my previous plan. I slept with that picture under my pillow and stared at it every time I got a chance.

I decided I needed to talk to someone about it and if you know me then you know I spoke to me 2nd eldest sister( i knew she would be honest). It was exactly what I needed to hear and it was the exact person I needed to hear it from. She said do whats best for you. She told me don’t be worried about what other people would think about me because I was the only person who would have to deal with the decision. She was very much right! I made the best decision I could have ever made.

Within the next few months I had to figure out how I was going to tell my parents. The time was never right in my eyes. Really it was never going to be a right time because I was scared at what the reaction would be. I waited to do it on a Sunday evening because thats when all the family would be together. I couldn’t muster up to courage to do it and I had my sister tell the whole family as I sat there. The room was completely silent and my dad immediately said call that boy(Robert) over here right now. OMG 🤦🏾‍♀️ I wasn’t ready!!My parents were pretty upset with me about getting pregnant before getting married because they set standards. They eventually got over it. Long story short me and Robert got married, had Gabriel and lived happily ever after 😳

I am so happy to be celebrating another year with the little guy that made me a mom. He is so much like me which can be a bad and a good thing at times. He is such a smart boy and I don’t know what life would be like without him and I’m glad I don’t know. That experience taught me so much. It taught me to do what makes me happy and not worry about the opinions of others. It taught me to stop and fully think of the choices I make. It also made me grow up because being a mother is the most important job I could have.

XOXO,

Suburban Fashionista 💋